Game Two of the recent NBA Play-Off series between Houston Rockets and Utah Jazz last month sparked much controversy due to the actions of Andrei Kirilenko, the Jazz power forward. As Houston’s Tracy McGrady shaped up for a successful three-point attempt to tie the game with 45 seconds remaining, his team-mate Luis Scola thrust a hand to Kirilenko’s shoulder in an effort to prevent the Utah man from making a block. Upon contact,
Kirilenko crashed to the hardwood floor. An offence was called and Utah promptly sealed the game on their next possession.
That Scola had unwisely fouled Kirilenko was not in question, but the manner of the Russian’s fall caused a major outcry from fans and media alike. Quite simply, flopping has no place in the macho world of American sports. A listen to ice hockey broadcasters covering the road to the Stanley Cup finals results in a similar story being heard. In a sport notorious for vicious fights and wanton acts of violence, the most despised crimes being committed are not by thuggish defensemen brandishing sticks at opposing talents but by those indulging in
a spot of “embellishment”. Hockey, you see, is a game for real men.
With the stakes equally high in this week’s Champions’ League semi-finals, Rafa Benitez stirred the pot ahead of Liverpool’s trip to Stamford Bridge by suggesting that Didier Drogba resided in the same company as Kirilenko. The Ivorian may have confessed that “
sometimes I dive” in a televised post-match interview in the past – language problems obviously – but he responded defiantly, suggesting that he had lost all respect for a manager who would make such unprofessional suggestions of a player. Add a bad memory to the list of Drogba’s unsavoury characteristics given his former mentor’s childish outbursts aimed in the direction of Cristiano Ronaldo in the past.
Drogba took little time on Wednesday night to undermine his flimsy defence. All of thirty seconds had elapsed when he theatrically flung himself to the turf following minimal contact with Xabi Alonso.
Natalia Yurchenko, the ground-breaking Russian gymnast, would have been impressed with his loop and pike.
One wonders how Drogba survives in everyday life. Can you imagine the punishment his knees endure while out on a busy shopping day on the Kings Road? Picture the Waitrose bags spewing their contents all over the pavement as fellow pedestrians brush past. Heaven forbid someone tries to squeeze by him in a crowded movie theatre – his poor date would be drowning in popcorn and soda.
The towering striker received praise at the weekend for showing concern over the well-being of Nemanja Vidic, the Manchester United defender, after he accidentally kneed him in the mouth removing several teeth in the process. Slow motion replays revealed that even on this occasion Drogba was seemingly intent on causing anguish and bemusement for the viewers. With a falsely pained expression expertly etched onto his face,
he was already in mid-twist when the severity of the damage to Vidic became clear. Thankfully he halted his collapse to save himself from certain humiliation.
Maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe Drogba suffers from an acute inner ear disease which constantly affects his balance. Who knows? What is for sure is that this leopard is most unlikely to be changing his spots leaving I, and no doubt millions of other football fans around the world, diving in disgust for the remote control whenever he appears on screen.
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